Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
