We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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