all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
did you just send me my own nude
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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