How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i've created a new STD.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
