I want to make a zoo with you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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