There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
North Korea, Best Korea!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
