i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No subtext here. People are naked.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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