We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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