i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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