good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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