So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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