his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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