Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
