yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
