My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
