so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
