I love black thongs
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
