my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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