Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
