The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
