Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
