Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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