ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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