We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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