Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
