I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize