yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
