matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
