i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize