So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
