we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
