dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
