So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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