Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
