He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
