Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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