what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
