I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
