Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
