i don't like sucking hair
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
