I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
