I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize