Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
