Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
