ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
