Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
