On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
