He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
