i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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