I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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