Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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