it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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