There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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