the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
