Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
