is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
