I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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