That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
