You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This beer is not sobering me up at all
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
