From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
