Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
