One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
should my penis look like a turkey
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
